Advertisement taglines from 35,000 ft

Most of my traveling involves long flights from one side of Canada to the other, or from the ends to the middle. Usually around hour four I slip into a semi-lucid state, staring out the window and contemplating the unbelievable distance just below my feet. On this particular flight, perhaps fueled by the extra bag of stale snack mix that passes for an inflight meal these days, this fell out of my subconscious. The lines in paranthesis are direct rips from adds in a magazine I had brought on with me.

We are an oblong pill of humanity.
(An introduction to impulse buying.)
Held up with arrogance, science and downforce.
(More power. More torque.)
Forcing down our connection until it is buried.
(Travel in the style to which you're accustomed.)
Hidden beneath layers of polyester, wool, flesh, spirit.
(Another exciting product.)
cultured cotton, chafing cultured asses.
(Unexpected power.)
Each occupant a seething blast of bio-agent.
(New and improved, and safer on fabrics.)
We have impact, we have footprint.
(Better living through chemicals.)
We are medicating the planet with our humanity.
(To keep you playing longer.)
The question in my mind,
(You can actually hear the sound of silence.)
Are we a throat lonzenge?
(Now available at home.)
Or a suppository?
(Where will you be when your diarhea returns?)

-Mark